I have recently noticed that some of my LGBT clients have an unexpected reaction to getting a marriage green card in the mail. They look sad. They look unhappy. They tell me it is because they feel "unworthy." What's wrong? Why aren't they celebrating?
My clients explain to me that for many years they have been living in a straight world where often they are forced to lie, pretending to be something they're not, or to like something they don't, just to blend in with the heterosexual norm.
My clients explain to me they were taught the values of homophobic, heterosexist, discriminatory culture and religions, where they were exposed to negative ideas about homosexuality and same-sex attraction.
My clients explain that like everyone else, some LGBT people were socialized into thinking that being non-heterosexual is somehow “wrong” and how this has led to feelings of unworthiness.
My clients explain how for years, even though they were raised to be a devote Catholic, or a devote member of a different church, they were not accepted because they were gay. The recent change, where they can get married, and simultaneously become legal is a change so intense, and so quick, that it is hard to process.
They feel this way even though in 2015 the Supreme Court Justices have said this:
“They ask for equal dignity in the eyes of the law. The Constitution grants them that right.”
They feel this way even though in 2015 President Obama addressed the Supreme Court decision supporting same sex marriage, calling it a "victory for America:"
Other Immigration Questions Concerning Same Sex Married Couples:
What are the issues if my gay spouse entered the USA as a B-2 Tourist ?
Exactly what happens at a marriage green card interview?
How does a person get married in the USA?
Tips on how to help your helping your partner adjust to America during the Adjustment of Status process.
What if my spouse entered the USA legally, but overstayed their visa?
What if my spouse is HIV positive?
Is “coming out” important to the Immigration Officer who conducts the marriage green card interview? Call (619) 235-8811 or Email her at